I cant get through the pain I am feeling. I mean, why in the world does this keep happening? Damn it! I am smart, yes I know. But I dont want to be the smartest person in the world alone. They say something about deserve. I know by Christ as my Lord I dont deserve a thang but it still makes me so sad. I want to be smiles and happy here too. I know also you cant compare your lives per everyone elses compared lives but gosh it seems so sad.
I am going to pick my chin up, dust off my butt and start doing it on my own. No really. I have given so much power to my "need" for him. He actually suggested we keep it "professional" as if this is a business transaction or something. then he said im insulting him when he hurt and insulted me.Again.... glad that no one reads this anyway
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