Another closed. I feel the usual pains and sadness but peace had begun to kick in. It's over, again. Not my favorite cup of tea but a necessity for more life for me. I've been here before but never here not like before.
We talked we argued we talked. We laughed. We were us. It's what I needed. It's what I wanted. It was us. I was blessed to look in his eyes and not feel hurt, anger or upset. I was able to see me letting him go. What changed? Not lying. Not holding back. Not doing all those things that I did. I was able to still long for him.
Difference was accepting the longing for me isn't the same. The longing for me isn't complete. The longing isn't on the same levels of understanding that we both need. I wanted to give him my love my understanding my all my fulfillment in compliance and need. I wanted to give him all of me. He wanted those things but not the give but only received. Give me a hug, give me a kiss. Make love all day and night then let's dismiss. Your time, your resources all made his mind click but not giving me what all he had to give. Say time was easy. He gave me that. Love that too but not the all it took to let us be true.
Chapter closed.
I can't look at next because I have to adjust to this end. No mores but wait he wants us to be friends. Can I? He is asking me as its another need of his. While I can't imagine all it will take for me to smile through this end.
Chapter closed. Let it go. Sometimes that means the friendship answer is no.
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