i didnt realize it was me

i was cleaning the house. starting with the kichen. so hot in the house i didnt even realize how bad i was sweating. then i started to wipe my face and realized i wasnt totally sweating but crying too.  i was listening to kelly prices he proposed and it brought me to tears.  he loved me.  i thought.  i just knew we were going to get married. because he said so.  he proposed. and less than a year later he is with someone else. seeing him today took all of me not cry.  he just sang out loud as if he didnt have a care in the world.  i just cried on the inside.  i couldnt believe nor did i realize when we got to where we are now. when love use to be so so damn strong. when did the love stop?  when did the holding stop? when did the emotions...stop?  i dont even know when the tears started so i cant possibly know when they will stop.  im hurting so so much hurting going on. wondering how could i have loved again the wrong man and thought again he loved me too.  i always fall for those who i feel need me.  i be thinking if i give him what he need then of course he is going to give me what i need.  right? temporarily, he does too.  temporarily. i wish i was with somoene who saw me as a blessing to them.  who loved me for who i was and really relaly loves me for who i am.  is that too much to ask?