Suffocating

I often look around the world and wonder if it is real.  Is it really this violent, are people really this uncaring?  Do we hate one another because we are different colors?  Is the heart so hard that it breaks at the thought of touch? Are we so conniving that we mistreat those we love? 

I feel like there isnt enough air for me to breath sharing it with everyone else.

What. does it mean?

I the goal was to get me to not believe in fairytale endings but I refuse.   I still believe that love isn't charted to fail. That it does find its way to the ones it was destined.  I can't imagine a life without the hope.

 So many failed attempts.  So much excitement gone to waist.   Even I don't want my heart to freeze into the after affects of pained heart aches.

I can hear the whispers of those wondering about me assuming they know how I'm living how I see.  They made up their mi d's at work church even masked friends and obvious family.

I'm not giving up.

Fairytales

i still believe,  in fairy tale loves. i can see him coming to pick me up simply because he cant understand what life was like before me.  i can see him sending me flowers beyond our newlywed life.  i can see him asking me to be his wife.  wanting forever the bad the good the ugly just forever with me.  loving what i love.  i still believe in chivary the gentleman treating me like the lady i am.  i believe in falling asleep next to one another content being with one another.

my favorite song is the beat of a heart of the one i love. the one i adore.  i can see his smile as i walk in front of the room whereever he is.. i want to be taken to a dance or two where wwe can slow dance eatand enjoy our company. i want us to take dinner cruises. walks downtown or even trips  to the movies or beaach.  the idea is just enjoying one another.

is that a fairy tale?? what we have now? lets me know im waiting still.