i miss you momma. i cant say i never minded your late night rants about the unfairities of life. i cant say i dont feel guilty that i didnt remove you from the environment either because then i would be lying. i wonder if i will ever forgive myself for not being better. not achieving more. not making more of myself not having more money. like i should be rich by now. i shouldnt be without. like the grandam you wanted i should have paid for it already.
its funny doesnt feel like i am sucessful. i have the paper without the paper i have the degree but it was only you i wanted to please
i have the hurt anger anguish but none of it even comes close to helping me make since of common knowing you are gone.
praying for peace Lord that alone could ease some of the discomfort in my chest. i understandd i have to get better i dont want my babies to live with the lost that i feel the perminent forever.
i see myself seeking Lord seeking...
