The Morning After

I woke up this morning having sad dreams. They all boil down to whats next for me? I can walkleft stir right and laugh out loud. I can stand up look back head in the clouds. When its all said and all done, it does matter. Im beside myself in sorrow.  I dont have anyone other than jesus to comfort me. Its almost a complete replica of my time with he.  I qustion it all im searching for fulfilling answers even. But nothing and i meaan nothing is preparing me for the much needed healing.

Sigh

the point of it all

I love you.
Man cant express how much this holiday hurts. All the joy n all the laughter. Oh m all the pain!i cant believe all the pain. Its official he is getting married. Im not surprised and i knew the moment it was so because my entie body shut down ad i didnt know why. I wonder why? Oh well. Time hals all wounds they say. But the scars of my wounds are plenty ugly. Im not sure about the fuure what this brings or how much this will hurt. I look around me and cant believe how it feels everyone changing lived growing but mine is in a rolloercoaster tormil. You said you loved me andi was the one or you. Yu said you would always b ehere for me and that would always sand true. Now, not so. So not so. Im hurting because you lied. Lt me think things all wrong. Maybe love wasnt enough maybe i had it al lwrong. These words will never reach your eyes nor my heart get pass the current pain im just trying to hold on to the strength that shadows my name.
I pray Lord heal me. I pray He helps me through...right now my Father i need you